Changing my hair and life little by little

I've been always been one to be afraid be of change while being easy going to a point. I started changing my hair length to dying it to shaving a side of my head. Change is scary but once it starts, its so weird how it continues with the momentum that it has.

Fae Panda :D

ARGH! It has been insane with work and Ren faire that I have barely had time for this blog! (sorry!)

When you work on a character, you learn to love and become the character you have made. "Marina", a Done d'aigua from Spain came to visit Petite Lyon (The setting of the STL Ren Faire is France in the 1400s) after hearing about a party that was hosted by Lord Pan. Though the satyr is present, the language mix up has Marina thinking there is a loaf of bread (Pan is Bread in Spanish) that is so amazing that it was given the title of Lord.

After many laughs, heartfelt moments and "Octopus dances" (that was fun to make up and have people do), Marina seemed to evolve. The character was able to connect to kids with shinnies, "Pearls" in this case. When Marina came to France, she began to cry and cry. The Done d'aigua's tears become pearls. After the flow of tears had stopped, Marina noticed that all of the pearls had little names. Every child is asked what is their name and given their special shiny with the fact that it must have been a happy cry because Marina was so happy to have met them. The smiles and warmth in children and adults when told that they were special was almost as magic as the characters that inhabit Le Guilde du Fae.

It is amazing to see all the different fae, Hasle and Lady Tinkles enjoying the music at the Front Gate. The Brownie cleaning after the muddy Bridge Troll, Glomp while the Autumn Lady, Annonas and the Winter Lord, Govnu stroll down the streets of Petite Lyon. The Summer Lord, Somhairle catching sunshine to make a shiny while Ember Fireheart watched the flames. La Dame D'Lyon and Asti asking for tribute from travelers as "RUSSE HAS ENTERED THE FAE WOOD!" Marina and Tavi (The Fresh water fae) arguing over whose dance was better while Twiggy and Lady Searfine blowing bubbles. Gwennith running away then catching the fae hunters. The Two Fae Kings of Oak and Holly play chess with mortals and the Fearless leader, Karidwen keeping everyone as in line as possible.

There were more fae whose stories I could tell but the morning grows closer and my eyes grow heavy. To those who would like to enjoy a part of what I have told, there is one weekend left. Come and visit Petite Lyon. If not, so be it. I have no problem enjoying this magic for you. The friends I have made these past few weekends have been wonderful and have enriched my life even though our time together has been short. I hope that the time does not stop there and that when the gates open next year, we can welcome more children and show them the wonderment that the fae have shown me.

In the words of a new friend,

"We walk the lanes where giants once roamed. Some wander them quietly, spend some time, and leave without a sound. I want my character to echo for years. Will you walk beside me?"- The Oak King, Bill Blanke

(From Facebook)

The Octopus Dance

Its been a little crazy. Just finished my first weekend of the STL Ren Faire. I am part of the Fae guild (think fairies, trolls, elves, and the sort) and I play a Done d'aigua named Marina. She is visiting from Spain and claims to be from the sea. 

A little fun tidbit is what is called the Octopus dance. It is a random little dance I did for a child and it just became a thing. Children, teens and adults did it for me from time to time and it was fun. Laughter and silliness abound. Many people leaving mentioned to other fae that they loved the dance and that they enjoyed being silly.

Something that really warmed my heart though was a little girl that did the dance with me. I gave her some glitter, telling her that I promised smooth sailing and she pulls out of her pouch a little plastic gem. It was pink and shaped like a diamond. She tells me "Thank you for the promise. This is for you." I almost cried.

It is nice to see that something as silly and as simple as a dance made up on the fly can make peoples' day as well as make your own.

(Found on DeviantArt by ~podgypanda)

Passive Aggressive Bullshit

Oh my dear, I haven't written in a while and I apologize. Work is getting more strenuous but in a good way, the Renaissance Faire that I am volunteering in is coming up in two weeks and there are little things that need to be sorted out, and just lack of sleep. I haven't even been playing SWTOR that much. Its been that kind of busy. But enough with excuse.

My partner is extremely passive aggressive and this is something strange for me. As someone who has kept company with mostly men and fairly forward people, I don't understand passive aggressive speak. It's like a foreign language to me and it really does go over my head. My partner is an only child of a single mother and was raised by the women of the family. From what I understand, women tend to be more passive aggressive while men tend to be more straightforward or at least blunt.

In the beginning of our relationship, we had mini arguments that were strange to me. My partner was trying to read between the lines while I was just trying to understand how we ended up at this point. I really don't speak passive aggressive and my partner is just now trying to adjust to that. I say what I want to say and don't hide behind words because I want to be nice. Either I tell you the truth or I tell you a lie. There are no veiled compliments nor secret code. I am as upfront as I can.

Why is that such a difficult concept to grasp?

(found online)

Shinning armor or tin foil hat?

I have been separated from my husband for about three years (Trying to get divorced) and it's so interesting for four years of a long distance infatuation changes in a few short years. At one point, this man was everything I could think about- his smile, his laugh, his hugs, his love... - and now, all I can think is "Wow, what were you thinking?"

We did have a bad falling out but we are rebuilding our friendship, knowing that anything romantically would never work and it's an interesting dynamic. We have similar interests and tastes but are so different otherwise. Now, it's nice to have him as a friend. I no longer need a romantic anything from him. It's nice being able to have a relationship with him that isn't romantic love. I will always love him in some corner of my heart but that love of a lover and partner has changed into a love of a close friend.

I think that this is for the best.

( found online)

"HOLY SHITBALLS, YOU JUST SAVED THE DAY!!!"

People go out of their way to help. Look at the recent disasters (Boston and Texas) and how everyone was trying to help whether it was through giving blood, spreading awareness, and even overseas pictures of love and support. Humans as a race tend to be selfish and cruel creatures by nature but there are some people that have a glimmer of what mankind could be.

Take my friend, J (Name withheld for privacy). She used occupy the room my partner and I are now renting. She left us a bed that was in good shape and a few chairs for the room as well as helped clean the room up for moving in. J has come by the house and cooked, brought us a little food, given us rides to work when gas was low and even took me to my job interview after I had been unemployed for almost a year and brought me clothes that made me look professional. She did all of this without asking for anything in return: No gas money, No thank you, nothing.

This is just one example of a good, no great, friend as well as a great person. She might be a little crazy/weird sometimes but we love her for just being awesome. Have you been awesome to someone lately? Maybe you should, even if that is telling someone that you love them, appreciate them, or even just a smile or a wink. You could change their day.

(found online)

Soo... tired... fae... too strong... work so much...

OH SO TIRED! Isn't it funny how we try to do so much in a small yet large amount of time? On paper, it looks like we have all the time in the world while when the craziness of real life totally shreds that to pieces.

I am doing the Ren faire this year (I'm A GLITTERBOMB FAE BUTT!!!) while trying to juggle work, sharing the car with my partner, and organizing both our lives and our romantic endeavors. AHHHHHH! There is so much to do and so little time to do it, it seems.

Oh lovely lovely stress.

(found online)